Portland Press Herald

MAINE VOICES

I want what every parent does – happy and healthy children. I want my children to have every opportunity to fulfill their hopes and dreams. I want them to be treated fairly and equally. I want them to love and be loved – and to marry the person they love. I have two daughters. The older one is straight and the younger one is gay.

I love both of my daughters equally. Since they were born, I have said that I had daughters for a reason. I grew up in a macho world – captain of my high school football and baseball teams, a football player at the University of Maine, a Marine, and a black belt martial arts instructor. If I had sons, I would have pushed them to be the same way. My daughters showed me a different way; they mellowed me.

My younger daughter and I always had a special relationship – a bond. We played sports together. From the time she was 6, I coached her softball and other sports teams. We spent a lot of time together and talked easily about everything. When she was in college, my wife and I wondered if our younger daughter was gay, but we weren't sure and we didn't pursue it with her.

Although I had considered the idea, when she first came out, I struggled with the reality of accepting that my daughter was gay. I had grown up thinking it was a bad thing. I heard gay slurs being thrown around (and threw some myself).

But this was my child. It took time to process the news. My love for her, the special relationship we shared, her importance in my life led me to a major transition. I went from being a stereotypical macho man to accepting that my child is gay, and here I am now advocating for gay marriage.

And it's not just about gay marriage. Neither is it about sexual orientation nor religion. It's about equality and fairness – values that Maine people understand. The transition I went through took time and made me more accepting of everyone. I know now that it is very important to look at people for who, not what, they are. While every individual is different, we are essentially all the same. We are all human and we all deserve to be treated equally.

I'm still learning about the issues my daughter faces every day. Recently I spoke to a group of gay women from Massachusetts who were vacationing here in Maine. They recognized me from the No on 1 television advertisement in which I appear. I asked them if they vacationed here often and they said, "Yes, because we feel safe here."

That was a totally foreign concept to me, to have to worry about feeling safe because of who you are. All of us in Maine should be allowed that basic freedom – to feel safe.

I love and respect both of my daughters because they are special individuals. And I believe that everybody is special and has something to offer this world. I believe we all should live the lives that we want and that no one has a right to interfere with our happiness.

My wife and I celebrated our 40th wedding anniversary this summer. I hope both of my daughters have the opportunity to reach that milestone. I hope both of my daughters marry the person who fills each of their lives with the same joy I've had in my life.

I was born in Lincoln and have lived in Maine my entire life. I know the people of this state to be fair and respectful. I believe that my family, friends, neighbors and colleagues do not want their personal beliefs to stand in the way of my daughter's – or any person's – happiness.

Like me, they love their children. Like me, they want their children to experience a world of opportunities. And, like me, they don't want outsiders making threats about how to live our lives and treat others.

Here in Maine, we believe in protecting equality for all our citizens. Here in Maine, we don't discriminate against gay people when it comes to their jobs or where they live. Everyone – gay or straight – should have the right to equal access to what our society offers and that includes the right to choose who we marry.

Please vote "no" on Question 1 on Tuesday so that everyone in Maine is allowed to live his or her own life, feel safe and be treated fairly – including my daughter.

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